


He Smiles More

by Abigail (artyandabby)



Series: Heroes of Olympus Fix Fics [2]
Category: The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Book 5: The Blood of Olympus, Dark Percy, Fix Fic, Gen, trauma cw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 15:17:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3176682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artyandabby/pseuds/Abigail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason isn't a therapist, but Percy needs one. Prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Smiles More

When even Leo’s clowning couldn’t make someone smile-smirk, shocked, or with a shake of the head-you knew something was up.

Jason didn’t know how to make him smile. He’d never had a mission like that. You couldn’t use a javelin to make someone smile. Well, except that one time…

So he had no idea what he could possibly do to help until he dove into a heaving ocean after Percy and ended up breathing air at the bottom of the sea.

Percy kept a tight hold on his arm as they floated towards the surface. His face was drawn, and a little green, though Jason supposed discoloration was a pretty standard aftereffect for poisoning. A passing tide rocked their tube of air and Percy’s face turned bleach-white. Jason took that as a hint to slow down.

He stopped them at one of the ruins and lowered the air until they could sit. Percy slumped like a marionette who’d had his strings cut.

Jason hesitated, then laid a hand on his back. “Are you doing all right? I mean, surviving. That was a pretty serious attack back there.”

Percy coughed. His whole body shook. “Sorry. Stupid.”

Jason gave a short laugh. “A little, maybe.”

He didn’t reply. “Hey-you are fine, right? If you’re dying, you’re morally obligated to tell me so the guilt doesn’t haunt me for the rest of my life.”

“I’m not dying.” Percy said. At least, Jason thought he did. The fact that his head was in his hands didn’t help.

“Dude, you’re kind of shaking. You’ve got to let me in on this.”

Percy lifted his head enough to look Jason in the eyes. “Just a few memories surfacing.”

Jason stiffened. “Tartarus?”

He nodded.

Jason shifted. “Did you want to…I don’t know, talk about it? You haven’t really talked much about it. Not really breakfast-table material, I guess-though you haven’t been doing that much either. Eating breakfast. Being up at breakfast time.” _Stop talking, Jason. Stop talking, Jason._

Percy raised an eyebrow. “Ever think maybe that’s why?”

“What?”

He spread his hands. “You’re uncomfortable. I get it. Like you said, not really breakfast-table material.

Jason looked at the ground. Little eddies shoved around the bits of ruin at his feet. In his peripheral vision, he saw Percy clench his fists, and the movement stopped. “Yeah, it’s not easy.”

Percy laughed harshly. “No, it’s not. So we’re in agreement. Hell sucks. Good to know.” He kicked sharply at a clump of seaweed resting on what used to be steps.

“Tell me if you want to, don’t if you…don’t.” Jason shrugged. “It’s your memories.”

Percy shivered.

Jason looked up. His friend’s eyes were frightening. He didn’t know what they reminded him of, and he was sure he didn’t want to remember.

“That poison…It just reminded me of something.” Percy said finally. His words were measured and careful.

Jason nodded. “Something from Tartarus. Were you poisoned there?”

Percy shook his head so fast it looked like it hurt. “No. Yes. Sort of.”

He waited.

Percy laced his fingers together. “A goddess attacked Annabeth and I. Akhlys. The goddess of misery. She tried to poison us. It was rivers, rivers of poison. Just her thing, I guess. She almost had Annabeth.” His voice faltered.

“You’re alive.” Jason tried to make his voice encouraging. “You’re here.”

Percy laughed again. He sounded like he wanted to cry. “I reversed the flow. The poison was in liquid form, so I could get it, and was just so-so angry. You’ve got to understand, it was like nothing I’ve ever felt before.” The words came faster then, like Percy was dying to spit them out. “I had the power, and I had her, _standing right there_ , and I couldn’t not. I attacked her, I shoved the poison back down her throat, along with her tears. I choked her. I don’t know how long. It was maybe a minute. Maybe an hour. I don’t remember. I _don’t_ -”

“Hey.” Jason laid a hand on his friend’s forearm. “You had to do it. You had to survive that so you could help us.”

“I didn’t have to.” Percy’s voice was so quiet Jason almost didn’t hear.

“What?”

“I didn’t have to.” He repeated. “I mean, initially, yes, I drove her back to save us. But that wasn’t why I kept going.” He shuddered violently. “I kept going because I liked it, Jason. I _loved_ it. It felt good.”

Jason didn’t know how to respond to that.

Percy pulled his shoulders in, hunching. “That’s why I dove into the poison like that.” His voice was unbearably soft. “I saw it, and I saw him, and I-I didn’t know what else to do. I thought, this is it. It’s coming back to bite me. I’m going to die like I tried to kill her, choking and pleading-” He shuddered again. “And I thought…this is justice.” Percy’s voice broke.

“No.” Jason interrupted. “No, okay, no. No. You don’t deserve to die. Nobody does.” He stood. “You didn’t kill that goddess, Percy.”

“But I tried. And I would have. I would have. Annabeth stopped me-”

Jason threw up his hands. “So Annabeth stopped you! So what? That’s what friends do, Percy! They cut you off when you do crappy things, and they tell you-”

Percy flew to his feet, and suddenly they were nose to nose. “And what if she isn’t there next time?”

Jason couldn’t speak.

“Huh?” Percy shoved him back. “What if there’s nobody there next time, Jason? What if I’m alone, and I hurt someone? Am I a monster then? _Am I_?” He stopped, breathing heavily, and stared at Jason.

Jason was still frozen. He knew what Percy’s eyes looked like now. They looked like his mom’s, or what had used to be his mom’s. Sad, and crazy, and half-dead, like a ghost trapped on earth way past its best-if-used-by date.

Percy swallowed hard and stepped back. His voice was hoarse when he spoke again. “I’m sorry.” He sat down again, deflated.

Jason didn’t reply. He sat down beside Percy.

“I’m sorry.” He said again.

Jason looked up. The deadness in Percy’s eyes wasn’t gone, but mostly he just looking pleading. Jason’s stomach twisted. Percy’s whole frame was vibrating with tension, but he relaxed a little when Jason put a hand on his back.

“You’re not a monster.” Jason said quietly. He thought he knew what to say now. It was hardly the first time he’d kept a secret-though this one was definitely worse than most of the others he knew. He shook his head, trying to get the memory of Percy’s eyes out of his head. No wonder Annabeth was so stressed. “You’re human. So you made a mistake. So what?”

“I make lots of mistakes, Jason.”

“I did say you were human, didn’t I?”

Percy laughed shakily, then coughed into his arm. When he wiped his mouth, the skin came away dark. “We should probably get up there soon.” He said hoarsely. He started to get up, and nearly fell back down.

“Hey.” Jason steadied him. “Careful.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Percy muttered.

Jason didn’t know exactly why he kept talking-he just felt like it was necessary. “You know you can confide in me, right? I can secret-keep like a boss.”

Percy managed a smile then, weak as water, but genuine. Jason felt something in his chest relax. “Well, now that you’ve told me, I know.”

He smiled back. “Listen, you were right.”

Percy looked wary. “About what?”

“That I was uncomfortable.” Jason put his hands in his pockets. “Problems aren’t easy, Percy, but they’re there. Especially in our business.” He laughed. “I mean, just a few days ago, I nearly got killed by the half-ghost of my dead mother. Baggage is a thing. I get it.” He bit his lip, right on the old scar. “But this isn’t about me.”

“No, it isn’t.” It wasn’t a harsh statement. Just simple. “My problems are not yours.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Jason felt silly, like some kind of movie mentor, putting his hand on Percy’s shoulder, but he did it anyway. “You’re my friend. That makes your problems mine.” He looked down. The ocean was stirring the ruins again. He saw Percy clench his fists. “If you want them to be.”

“Is that your speech?” Percy asked after a moment. “Like, standard?”

It took Jason a moment to hear the sarcasm in his voice. “Absolutely.”

Percy laugh-coughed again, then sobered. He stared at Jason for a moment. Then he did the exact opposite of what Jason had come to expect from this sort of situation. Percy hugged him.

“Thanks.” Percy muttered into Jason’s shoulder.

Neither of them spoke until Percy pulled back, coughing again. “Let’s get out of here.” He surveyed the ruins around them. “I don’t think I like this place.”

“Right. C’mere.”

Percy rolled his eyes. He leaned against Jason and closed his eyes while they floated back up to the top of the waves.


End file.
